Constructive comments, suggestions and critiques are welcome and appreciated.
NEVER STOP LOVING ME (6th Rewrite)
Copyright 2015 by Wes Tibbets


VERSE ONE


If there ever was a perfect time
This just might be the night
I've never felt the way I do
For anyone the way I feel for you


If I seem anxious and a little uptight
There just might be a reason why


CHORUS


Will you never stop loving me
Will you be with me for eternity
Will you always stand by my side
And love me for the rest of your life
Three little words I wanna say to you
I love you I know you love me too
Since you do will you promise me
That you'll never stop loving me


VERSE TWO


I always hoped I would find someone
I think you just might be the one
To take my hand and walk through this life
Oh my darling this could be the night


LIFT


My hands are sweating and I'm out of breath
I must admit that I'm scared to death


CHORUS


Will you never stop loving me
Will you be with me for eternity
Will you always stand by my side
And love me for the rest of your life
Three little words I wanna say to you
I love you I know you love me too
Since you do will you promise me
That you'll never stop loving me


BRIDGE

One thing that I swear is true


I'll never stop loving you


CHORUS


Will you never stop loving me
Will you be with me for eternity
Will you always stand by my side
And love me for the rest of your life
Three little words I wanna say to you
I love you I know you love me too
Since you do will you promise me
That you'll never stop loving me


TAG


I just have one thing to ask you please
Will you never stop loving me

Arty Redsocks
#1
Wes
nice sentimental little piece you have here, certainly an emotion everyone can relate to

Few little suggestions
First the storyboard does not really progress (and probably your second verse is the first verse as it gives something about her). The best songs have every section clearly defined as to their part of the narrative, there is too much chorus in the verses and espeacially the bridge for mine. Bridges are really only if you have something new to add or conclude the narrative they do not have to be done for every song.

The chorus end rhyme of ME ENTERNITY ME ME
I would look to change L3 at least, I am not neccessarly against AAAA but the 3 "ME's" sound cheesy  and extremely needy lol.

Think there is a very good song just under this, look forward to the rewrite


Arty
Wes Tibbets
#2
I did some changes several rewrites ago that never sat well with me. So I reverted to the previous writes because not only does it I think accomodate what you described but plays better with the idea I have of the song. Many thanks!
Larry Killam
#3
Enjoyed Da Read wes I think the Chorus should be shorter imho.

CHORUS



Will you never stop loving me

Will you be with me for eternity

Will you always stand by my side

And love me for the rest of your life

Since you do will you promise me

That you'll never stop loving me 

All Da Best with it Wes.
Wes Tibbets
#4
Thanks Larry,

I appreciate the kind words and suggestion. Definitely something to forward on if anyone ever wants to record it. Hope life is treating you well. Best wishes!