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Thread: Sweet innocence
Tim  Spakoski
#9

No one has yet offered any changes/revisions to the lyric, so I'll be the first.  I'll preface my suggestions with the fact that any person reading a lyric for the first time doesn't know the intent of the writer and revising someone's lyric can often change the intended meaning.  That's not what I want to do, so feel free to ignore any changes I made.  Again, these are just suggestions.  My changes are in red font.


V1


I´m just a shadow of the child I used to be


All beauty insidehas been broken by years


Everyday there was something new to see and learn


As I grew older all ignorance was burnt


(Note: I replaced the work "unknowledge" with ignorance because unknowledge is not a common word. Wink


V2 


I used to live in my free world without any cares


Of the god called money that rules everywhere


I´ve never really thought that my soul could bleed


That I would come face to face with all lies and greed




PreChorus:


When did it happen


Who is to blame


The change shattered


All my life and broke my game


 


 Chorus:


I don´t wanna be


I don´t wanna be an adult because now


I don´t wanna see


I don´t wanna see the world go down


 


V3


Indifference and selfishness I had to fight


"Obey!“ "Work!“ "Pay!“ "Die!“ is life with we all satisfied




I'm not sure of your intention in verse 3, so I didn't make any revisions.  If I were writing a melody for the lyric I might make other changes to fit the meter of the song.  I would like to hear the melody if you have one written.


Tim