Sweet innocence

V1

I´m just a shadow of a child I used to be

All beatiful inside´s been broken by years

Everyday there was something new to see and learn

Time after time all unknowledge was burnt

PreChorus:

When did it happen

Who is to blame

The change shattered

All my life and broke my game

V2 

 I used to live in my free world with no cares

 Of the god called money that rules everywhere

 I´ve never really thought that my soul could bleed

 That I would ever meet with all lies and greed

PreChorus:

When did it happen

Who is to blame

The change shattered

All my life and broke my game

Chorus:

I don´t wanna be

I don´t wanna be an adult since now

I don´t wanna see

I don´t wanna see the world goes down

V3

Indifference and selfishness I had to fight

 „Obey!“ „Work!“ „Pay!“ „Die!“ is life with we all satisfied

PreChorus:

When did it happen

Who is to blame

The change shattered

All my life and broke my game

Chorus:

I don´t wanna lose

I don´t wanna lose sweet innocence

I don´t wanna feel

I don´t wanna feel blood of childhood on my hands

A lot of songwriters long for the innocence of childhood.  John Lennon comes to mind. You are in good company.   

Sweet lyric that a lot of adults could resonate with. I definately miss my happy carefree childhood days sometimes LOl

Enjoyed this Hugo. Thanks for sharing.

this is not a feel good song i think . it is a song about wishful thinking .how bad life has become and being young was better . well being young was better , for most people any way . still a good write though . although the rhyme is off in the 1st verse PO

john

Well to turn a phrase.. Like it or not, "These are the good old days" And I am so pleased I have the ticket to ride them because they are beautiful. Just the way they are.

Hi Jim,

thank you for your true comment

Cheers

Hugo

Hi Gwyneth,

thank you for your true comment that I totally agree :)

Cheers

Hugo

Hi John,

thank you for your comment. This song isn't about wishing golden young days it's more about wishing the adults should be sometimes more as children more careless, more fun, more playing and not too much solving irelevant things.

I'm not sure what do you mean "the rhyme is off in the 1st verse PO"

Cheers

Hugo

Hi Gary,

thank you for your true comment. As I wrote to John's reply this song isn't about wishing golden young days it's more about wishing the adults should be sometimes more as children more careless, more fun, more playing and not too much solving irelevant things.

As I always say the age doesn't matter if you can make and enjoy your golden days :)

Hugo

No one has yet offered any changes/revisions to the lyric, so I'll be the first.  I'll preface my suggestions with the fact that any person reading a lyric for the first time doesn't know the intent of the writer and revising someone's lyric can often change the intended meaning.  That's not what I want to do, so feel free to ignore any changes I made.  Again, these are just suggestions.  My changes are in red font.

V1

I´m just a shadow of the child I used to be

All beauty insidehas been broken by years

Everyday there was something new to see and learn

As I grew older all ignorance was burnt

(Note: I replaced the work "unknowledge" with ignorance because unknowledge is not a common word. 

V2 

I used to live in my free world without any cares

Of the god called money that rules everywhere

I´ve never really thought that my soul could bleed

That I would come face to face with all lies and greed

PreChorus:

When did it happen

Who is to blame

The change shattered

All my life and broke my game

 Chorus:

I don´t wanna be

I don´t wanna be an adult because now

I don´t wanna see

I don´t wanna see the world go down

V3

Indifference and selfishness I had to fight

"Obey!“ "Work!“ "Pay!“ "Die!“ is life with we all satisfied

I'm not sure of your intention in verse 3, so I didn't make any revisions.  If I were writing a melody for the lyric I might make other changes to fit the meter of the song.  I would like to hear the melody if you have one written.

Tim

The sentiment and imagery are compelling, Hugo. The lyric needs to be revised though to make it stronger and easier for people to relate to or even understand. Some of the lines are confusing. Tim has already made excellent suggestions.

Here are a few of my own. Keep or sweep, of course.

Donna

V1

I´m a shadow of the child I used to be

All the beauty inside has vanished through the years

Each day there was something new to see and learn

But time after time my innocence was burnt

PreChorus:

When did it happen

Who is to blame

The change shattered

 My life and destroyed my childhood games

V2 

In the world that I lived in, I didn't  care

About the god called money that rules everywhere

 I´d never dreamed there were ways my soul could bleed

 Or that I'd ever be confronted with lies and greed

PreChorus:

Chorus:

I don´t wanna be

I don´t wanna be an adult at all right now

I don´t wanna see

I don´t wanna see the world go down

V3

Indifference and selfishness are what I've had to fight

 „Obey!“ „Work!“ „Pay!“ „Die!“ is life with we all satisfied  This line needs to be reworked. Lots of ways you could do this. One possibility is 'Obey, Work, Pay' Die, these can never satisfy. Not a particularly good example, but simply to launch other ideas.

PreChorus:

Chorus:

I don´t wanna lose

I don´t wanna lose sweet innocence

I don´t wanna feel

I don´t wanna feel the blood of childhood on my hands