Lonesome Dancehall

Taking a walk I have to stop
At a building I've often passed by
Some force draws me near, in spite of some fear,
I feel I must give it a try.

Alone in the room echoes consume
my breathing and tentative calls
How long has it been since music and gin
were present inside these walls

Where are the pairs,
So debonaire, 
frothy bright skirts
Oh how it hurts
To think of it gone
for ever so long
out of this lonesome dancehall

Flocked wallpaper fades beneath chandeliers
once vibrant in their golden glow
The stories untold of those days so old
Are stories that I'll never know

Clickety clack,walking on back
across the hard wood floor
I'm startled to see looking at me
A starling fly out of the door

Where are the pairs
So debonaire, 
frothy bright skirts
Oh how it hurts
To think of it gone
for ever so long
out of this lonesome dancehall
out of this lonesome dancehall

Hi Shiela,

Beautiful write about nostalgia, the yearning and loss are delivered quite powerfully

within this very visually enriched and emotive imagery you portray in this song. Bravo!

Heck ya Sheila, great write! You took me there. Oh how I remember those fabulous days of yesteryear. Hoo-Hah!

I never did have the pleasure of enjoying those dancehalls but this made me wish I had...I did take ballroom dance lessons for a while. They kicked me out cause I broke too many toes.

 

 Great write here...tis good to keep those memories going.

 

I would give it 3 thumbs up but I only have two...

 

jarry

Great write, Sheila!  The imagery here is fantastic - it pulls the reader right into the setting, and it takes you back in time in your mind to less tumultous times. The emotional aspect of the lyrics is very clear as well.  I can hear this as a waltz. 

Thank you all!! :) Sometimes you just start with a title and have no idea what's going to come out. I kind of liked this one.
Dale, I think a waltz would be perfect for it.
Jarry, your toes or someone elses?

I sense the nostalgia and the longing for good times past.

Thank you, Jim :)

Hi Sheila,

This song is soooo well written.  It brings back memories of my younger days.  My mother was a country singer.  I spent my fair share of time in dance halls.  I can't imagine what they would be like today, if they even exist.  I agree with everyone else, the imagery is so vivid I got a lump in my throat.  It would be really neet to hear this song sung.  I would probably cry like a baby.  You did a wonderfull job.

Hi Sheila,

 

Yeah, have to agree with the others...well done! So many descriptive lines to tell the story. Love the inner rhymes too...it practically sings off the page. Would like to hear it!

 

Kristi

Sheila

don't want to be the one but I am.

this is really good but the chorus throws the melody out , in my oppinion it is hard to read and get the melody with the rest . obviously if you have music  it is more than likely  no adjustment needed

 

where are the pairs

so debonaire

moving in time to the band

now the music is gone

the people moved on

out of this lonesome dancehall

 

just a suggestion

john

I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to get back and thank you for your comments, John. I like your take on the chorus. I don't have music for this yet, so that will be the biggest factor, but I really like your thoughts on it. :)

 

 Hi Sheila,

Your lyric has the imagination of a romantic novel with the storytelling of Cinderella. I found it a very enjoybale read and it put me in a romantic mood. Thanks for sharing it.
Tony

Hey Sheila, Having no experience or knowledge with instruments or vocals except what I hear in my head, (I sing really great in my head by the way), I can't comment on a style of song. The lyrics though have a great imagery/ storytelling to them. Very nice. I like it.