Edited 'cause I can't spell. Fir is a tree. Fur is hair.


Edited again. Wrote music. Had to change some words to make it easier to sing. The "before" is in red. "After" is in green.


 


Swan Song


 


Tree to tree, then to savannah.


Use our brains and use our hands more.


Evolution, future genes.


Ours to possess.


 


Animals, dressed up nice.


Shave the fur, try to disguise.


Kill or be,Killing others, primal instinct,


Too hard to suppress.


 


Waging war with rocks and spears.


SayingThey say peace, crocodile tears.


Knowing what is really meant.


No need to second guess.


 


Strutting peacocks want attention.


Full ofOnly lies and fail to mentions.


Moving closer to the brink.


Bigger bombs, not less.


 


From water-board to turn the dial.


Was a crime, but still no trial.


TorturePain devices shined up, clean.


Try any, to confess.


 


Power comes, absolute.


Riches sought, above truth.


Wanting better, lose the dream.


Drowning in excess.


 


From caves to gated areas.


Still keeping out, don't dare approach.


To hide inside, try not be seen,


As mankind does regress.


 

john morrison
#1

first two verses no rhyme then you changed it on the third may sound better than it reads .strong message , but would be stronger if it read better PO


john

Larry Formolo
#2

Hmm. Did I try to rhyme "then to savannah" with "and use our hands more"? I don't know. It looks wrong, but it sings okay.


I guess I'll find out if it works when I add music.


 


The first verse was one of the last ones written. I ran out of easy rhymes? Was just going by sound? I don't know.

Gary Orphey
#3

Larry, you have a lot of things to say in these lyrics that can be put in a way that points to the 'problems at hand'  in a more lyrical, singable, song format.


The more singable it is the more people will listen.  Consider the song:  'Somethings Happening Here' by the Buffalo Springfield as a nice guide. Thanks.


Gary

Gwyneth Rose Bradley
#4

Larry, what a power lyric. Great advice around. Looking forward to hearing this.