Old Soldier (for OD)

Years ago, I would take my dad to the VA hospital for his appointments. One day while I was sitting in the waiting room, I saw this old soldier sitting in a wheel chair. After a few rewrites, this is the song that was inspired that day. Verse 1 and 2 are spoken with an abstract version of, "America the Beautiful", playing in the background, The bridge is sung, and has it's own melody and chord progression. The third verse is spoken with an abstract version of, "Battle Hymn Of The Republic", playing in the background. The tag is sung to the chord progression of, "Battle Hymn", but with a different melody. I just don't have a recorded version I can upload.

Old Soldier

Verse 1

 I took my dad to the VA out patient care
 Where I saw an old soldier in a wheel chair.
 His left leg was missin' just below the knee.
 A stub of a cigar was stuck in his teeth.
 He had a medal of valor on his cowboy hat.
 And a purple heart pinned on his jacket.
 He said, "Come here son," and waved at me.
 "Push an old soldier down the hall a piece."
 As we went down the hall he told his story
 About a life of wars and empty glory.

Verse 2

 "Son," he said, "I was young in World War two.
 Lost a lot of friends, but I made it through.
 I was in South Korea 'till fifty five.
 Got a letter from papa. Mama died.
 In sixty five I lost my leg in Vietnam.
 Got these medals from Uncle Sam."
 Then the old soldier looked toward the sky,
 Said, "Lord, forgive us all those wasted lives."
 He said, "You know, an old soldier never dies.
 He just keeps movin' from fight to fight."

Bridge

 Then he said,
 "Ain't it strange the way a man think.
 Leave a good woman and never blink.
 But religion and greed make a man want'a fight.
 Aint either one of them reasons right!
 He'll tell you it's for the good of all mankind.
 Any excuse he can find."

Verse 3

 We were back in the waiting room by then.
 I shook his hand and we traded grins.
 As I turned to leave the old soldier behind,
 He said, "Come back and visit some time."
 I was there when the old soldier left this world.
 As he surrendered, he had these final words.
 "Son," he said, "there truly is a God above.
 All He ever gave us to give was love.
 The hate, distrust, and greed we got inside;
 We made it up, out of foolish pride."

Tag

 Old soldiers never die. That's what he said.
 But even old soldiers need a time to rest.
 His truth keeps marching on.
 His truth keeps marching on.

Phil G. © 2002

Philboy,  this song idea and lryic is much better than I expected being an earlier write by you.  Please know though,  your song is fine but has a couple of problems I have to mention.

 

First off, your verses are way to long before you get to the chorus.  Then you mention in your song descpription some of the verses are spoken.  That may have worked with certain songs in the 70's but not so much today.  Then you mention two seperate melodies, one being "America The Beautiful" and the other being "Battle Hyme Of The Republic". 

 

I think this idea can be very difficult to pull off; but a good producer may be able to do so.  I will merely suggest this.  You have studied modern country songs being played on the radio more than anyone I know.  How many of the current songs attempt to use spoken lyrics or incorperate two seperate patriotic melodies in their songs, as you have tried to do with this one???

 

Now, patriotic songs like this are certainly out there, and there is room for one more; if it's written really well.  I would suggest this would be a good song in your songwriting catalogue; but I would also suggest you go back and shorten up the verses leading up to your chorus.  I like your story but I would suggest a verse and perhaps a "lift" leading into your chorus.

 

Just my thoughts.

 

OD

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the input OD. BUT, there is no chorus. It is a V, V, B, V format. This format is also not so popular in todays market. This song was never written to be on today's current chart country anyway. You will notice the hook, "Old Soldier", is used at least once in every verse, but not in the bridge. This is also the normal way to write this format. HOWEVER, in this format, the hook is USUALLY in the first and/or the last line of each verse. Actually, this isn't even a "country" song. It is more a folk story kind of song. And here is an interesting thing. If you google the late great Guy Clark, you will hear several of these kinds of story songs he wrote. None of them (the ones I listened to anyway) were ever big radio hits though. But they are just great, "pull you right into the story", kinds of songs.

philboy

Philboy, you asked for my opinion and when I gave it, you come back with all kinds of explainations and excuses. 

 

If you intended your song to be considered a folksie type song in the style of Guy Clark then say so.  I'm a fan of Guy Clark's music and many others story tellers that wrote in that style.  I didn't realize that was how your lyrics were to be taken.

 

Look, we both have studied today's popular song's and tried to figure out what elements they have to make them hit's on the radio (you far more than me).  We also both know there is room for songs that were not written to become considered for a main stream hit; but have an appeal to a smaller audience in a niche market.

 

Your song would fit into that niche market; but also carry on your good story; but you have to shorten it up and clean it up a little to keep it interesting and not drag on to become boring to the listener; especially before you get to the chorus.

 

Hey, you can write a song to sound like an old Gene Autry or Roy Rogers song if you want to.  But realize if you ask me to comment, I won't know you intended for your song to sound like an old Gene Autry song unless you tell me.

 

OD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Philboy, I apoligize for being a little harsh with you here.

 

We both know I am certainly no expert.  I will also mention I am not familiar with a VVBV type song at all.  I'm sure they do exist; but perhaps in the older market more than a current song market.

 

What I should have said was, I wish you had let me know that upfront before I commented and compared your lyrics to a more modern and common style of VCVCBC type song.

 

Sorry,

 

OD

 

 

Yes OD, you have to go WAY back to find any dominance of the VVBV format. 1960's and 70's. There might be one or two in recent years. One that comes to mind that is really not exactly that format is, "Somethin Bout A Truck", by Kip Moore.