Glad to have you feeling well enough to post again Steve!
I think Ott has a point there with the lanuage construct. He has saved my tail several times with a close read. Thanks Ott! The only thing that bugs me that is left (and it is probaly only me) is the term, "My Bad" which is really a heavily used cliche and kind of clunky. If you have to use a cliche in the chorus I would go back about fifty years or so and pick up something that only old dudes and dudettes will remember that is no longer a cliche like Maxwell Smarts, "Would you believe" i also would not use "My Bad" in the verse too.
Chorus
Would you believe I wouldn’t listen
When folks told me about you
Would you believe I didn’t listen
When they told me what you’d do
(just a guy trying to help)
I think Ott has a point there with the lanuage construct. He has saved my tail several times with a close read. Thanks Ott! The only thing that bugs me that is left (and it is probaly only me) is the term, "My Bad" which is really a heavily used cliche and kind of clunky. If you have to use a cliche in the chorus I would go back about fifty years or so and pick up something that only old dudes and dudettes will remember that is no longer a cliche like Maxwell Smarts, "Would you believe" i also would not use "My Bad" in the verse too.
Chorus
Would you believe I wouldn’t listen
When folks told me about you
Would you believe I didn’t listen
When they told me what you’d do
(just a guy trying to help)
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