Female Email

Female E-mail

© Gary Orphey

(uptempo country)

(V1)

I’ve been cruisin’ on the net—like I used to cruise my car

It keeps me out of alleys—it keeps me out of bars

I keep checkin' my e-mail—to see what I can see

I’m lookin' for a female—the one that’s made for me

(V2)

I spammed a million honeys—and I told ‘em I’d go far

That I played country music—and was going to be a star

Next day I checked my email—to see what there might be

There was ten thousand of ‘em—I think I've found the key

(Chorus)

Well it’s female e-mail—waitin’ just for me

Female e-mail—that’s what I want to see

(V3)

I looked at all the photos—and kept the pretty ones

I read all the emails—and kept those that were fun

I spent a month or two—settin' up my dates

Thinking about the good times—I can hardly wait

(V4)

Now I’m shinin' up my boots—and cleaning up my truck

I feel like a high roller—who’s had a stroke of luck

I know you think its funny—but let me make this clear

I have a date every night—for the next seven years

(Chorus)

Well it’s female e-mail—waitin’ just for me

Female e-mail—that’s what I want to see

Gary this has always been my all time fav of yours. I absolutely love it and am so happy to see you've posted it. Always

thought this one had major potential

Thanks Gwyneth...I appreciate your comment. This rewrite helped it a lot. The demo I had done was way to short. This is much better.

This is a fun one. I remember it too. Given the number of songs and lyrics that come through, that says a lot, lol! 

This is really good...really! Not sure why only the girls are commenting....me being an exception....hmmmmmm...must be you're sending those kilt pics... Ole Orphey knows how to write a hook...or set one..lol

This is a fun lyric and does have potential...nice!

Those kilt pics I send have brought tears to women all across The Great State of Texas. LOL

Thanks for your nice comments, it is a fun song.  I guess they can't all be 'I can't find my bottle, I lost my woman and my dog died songs.'

Gary, I got a big kick out of this! Ott

Thanks Ott.  If only it were about me and true.I should live so long!

Ha, Ha!  Good one, Gary.  I did notice something, though - 

At the end of your second verse, you have "waitin' just for me" in the last line. But then, you have the exact same thing at the end of your first line in the Chorus.  If "waitin' just for me"  was the actual hook or title of the song, that would probably work. But since it isn't,  I don't know that I'd repeat that phrase.  I don't know - maybe I'm being too picky.  LOL

Well heck...it's really a story song and "Female Email " is kind of catchy,  it's not much of a hook for sure, but your point is well taken concerining the "waitin' just for me " phrase. It should not be used  in both chorus and verse since it is part of the hook. It was easy to fix. Thanks for the thorough read and the catch Dale.

Hi Gary,

this is really amazing lyric with a great melody flow and funny story as the great country song should be! :)

Great one!

Cheers

Hugo

Love this lyric Gary, a real fun write.  Dale's suggestion for the second verse resulted in a nice improvement..."I think I've found the key".  That line supports the preceeding lines.  Nice!!

Thanks Tim, I appreciate you kind words. Hemingway claimed he wrote drunk and edited sober.  Sometime times a song requires a sobering look at it, over and over again. (sometimes it's hard to stay sober that long) LOL

It's a done deal as far as I'm concerned.

gary

if i was not happily married i would leave this site and go to the one you are using , hope you have the energy and money  for all these dates LOL

ps loved the lyrics

john

Thanks John....You can read about the adventure in my memoirs. LOL