Hello, Les!
I too like this a lot and I think there are many out there that could probably relate .
I view this as comical and think it would work best that way with the exception of the bridge which is good and fits right into what's going on to explain why this guy isn't interested in having a serious relationship.
Only suggestion with a few edits is to consider a hybrid of chrous 1 and chorus 2 and use only the one chorus then. See below.
(Chorus)
The best cure for love is prevention
Don’t get too involved is what I say
Keep my distance that’s the intention
Have some fun then be on my way orHave some fun and be on my way
Love em' n leave em that's my intention (in chorus 2) doesn't make the point of view sound like a nice person. If it's his intent it's pre-planned but I suppose if it's mutual between him and the gal then that doesn't matter. You explained in a nutshell with the bridge the origin of why this guy possibly fears relationships and perhaps is the way he is with re: to love. That tells me he wants sympathy or understanding with the explanation. Love em n leave em will kill any sympathy or sensitivity from the audience in my view. Also, love em n leave em is so trite and overcooked in the word dept. Again just my thoughts of course. : )
A clever and good write. Hope what I said helps Use or lose my thoughts and suggestions!
Welcome to the site by the way!! :)
Carl
Hi Carl
Thanks for the read and comments, I had the same thoughts about the "love em n leave em" line and the 2nd chorus was a result of me twiddling with multiple lines that I had.
I think the idea for the chorus as you suggest is a great idea and I will make a change, I wanted a 2nd chorus to go out with just so it did not sound repedative and possibly boring.
Work to do I think!
Thanks again
Les