Don’t Do It Boy!
© Gary Orphey
(Verse 1)
It was a wild night at the local dance hall,
There was fightin’ and drinkin’ and that ain’t all,
It got worse when Miss Lizzie walked in the door
The town librarian was sweet and pure,
Nobody paid much attention to her,
That night she had a nasty gleam in her eyes
(Verse 2)
She stood in the door wearing cowboy clothes,
Dressed in rodeo gear from head to toe,
Everyone knew what she was there for
She was after Mack, who ran the mechanical bull,
Who made good money making other people fools,
Bettin’ they couldn’t ride his electric el Toro
(Chorus)
Woman are amazing, don’t you ever call them crazy,
Especially when it comes to getting even,
Don’t make that mistake… don’t do it boy.
You’ll end up on the losing end,
You’ll do it over and over again,
I’m telling you “Don’t do it boy!”
(Verse 3)
A big mouthed bully he put nice people down,
Talking about Lizzie and the good folks in town,
It was time that someone made him pay.
The music stopped and a crowd gathered around,
As tiny Miss Lizzie laid a hundred dollars down
Daring everyone in the joint to match her bet
(Verse 4)
Mack had to save face so he covered the bets,
His face broke out in a cold, cold sweat
When Lizzie slid onto that bull… like a pro
He knew he was in trouble when the gloves came out
She cinched her hand down and the place began to shout
You could see Mack wanted to break and run
(Chorus)
Woman are amazing, don’t you ever call them crazy,
Especially when it comes to getting even,
Don’t make that mistake… don’t do it boy.
You’ll end up on the losing end,
You’ll do it over and over again,
I’m telling you “Don’t do it boy!”
(Verse 5)
Mack’s eyes narrowed and his face got mean,
He was determined to throw her off that machine,
He cranked it up like a bull coming out of the chute.
He spun it hard left then spun it hard right,
No matter what he did she hung on tight,
Rockin’ on that bull like a rodeo star
(Verse 6)
The crowd began to shout, “Ride ‘em cowgirl.”
As the bull… bucked, twisted and twirled,
It was the most amazing ride I’ve ever seen
Well the bull over heated and began to smoke,
It wasn’t long until Mack began to choke,
He yanked the plug and walked away cryin’
(Chorus)
Woman are amazing, don’t you ever call them crazy,
Especially when it comes to getting even,
Don’t make that mistake… don’t do it boy.
You’ll end up on the losing end,
You’ll do it over and over again,
I’m telling you “Don’t do it boy!”
(Verse 7)
He pulled himself together and paid the bets,
Walked out of the place with a world of regrets,
Left his bull behind and no one has seen him since
There were people that said she had a nip or two,
And with tongue in cheek they mentioned super glue,
But the whole town celebrated their rodeo queen.
(Outro)
They put a sign on the bull that read…
“This here… bull is dead.
It was rode to death not by a rodeo man,
But by Miss Lizzie our librarian.”