MAB, thanks for taking the time to disect that song, "Dirt" so well! To be honest, what really hit me about that song was the visuals. Almost every line. But the detail you went into really opened my eyes and made me see the song in a new light. Now that you have pointed it out, I do see how every line is about "Dirt". Didn't really "see" that even as many times as I have heard it. I ESPECIALLY appreciate the way you explained the melody! Now I know what I need to do when I start writing new songs, and there are some already written ones that I have some new ideas on. Will your efforts help me be a better songwriter? I don't know if you remember how thick headed I am. LOL! NOT stubborn. I DO listen, it just sometimes doesn't sink in (right away).
A moment to talk about my wrting. I DO try to put visuals in my songs. They don't always come across to add much emotion though, is my biggest problem. Another thing I am working on is, If there are visuals in certain lines in V1, then when I write V2, i want some (new) visuals in the same corresponding line there also. My latest endevor goes one step further. I had this song I had written, with a chord progression and melody that was O.K. (at best). THEN, I got an evaluation back from NSAI (on a different song) that said it sounded dated and that I should listen to curent radio hits. Well, truth is, that is all I listen too! Maybe I'm just not hearing it right, which goes back to my appreciation for MAB disceting the melody for "Dirt". Anyway, what I am doing now is rewriting the lyrics to the last so-so song to fit in the chord progression, rhythm, and melody of another top 10 (actually #1 last Sunday) song, "American Kids". (Which reminds me MAB, after you post about "Dirt", when I look at the lyrics for "American Kids", (almost) every line in it is a visual about kids growing up, which is a direct support of the title.) I don't like talking about ME so much, but I'm hoping this might give someone else a new perspective on their own writing. I can tell you, I certainly have a looong way to go!!
OD, you kept mentioning in your posts you wanted to comment on the song MAB disected for us, but I don't really see the comments?
Kevin, you bring up an interesting thing about "dynamics" in songs. That is probably the number 1 complaint I have here when I go to open mics. Even some of the folks that do cover tunes can't seem to change dynamics! One of my problems is putting breathing spaces in the lyrics. That is a fallout from being a litte too wordy. But, the difference between the verses and the chorus is where you really need the change in dynamics. More than just in the melody lift, but in the delivery as well. What I [try] to do is keep a simple strum pattern or finger picking in the verses then do full, different strum patterns in the chorus. The other thing, if I'm recording it is, I always use a drum patern from my Yamaha keyboard. So, I pick a siimpler, quieter pattern for the verse, then shift to a new fuller rhythm pattern for the chorus. I don't know how BIAB works, but I gotta believe it has that capability.
Man, I had to read throug 2 1/2 pages to catch up, so I'm sure I missed responding to someone. One last site technical note to everyone. There is a way for us to create a private listening room. You do have to be at least a basic member. It is under the menu item, "Oher Cool Stuff", and the option is, "Create A Private Room". I have not done this yet, so I'm not sure how it works. As soon as I have one set up, I'll post here about it. It will provide a way for us to have private critiques of each others songs.
phil g.
P.S. I probably have a lot of typing errors in my posts. This new laptop (that I've had over 6 months now) has a different spaced keyboard layout than I used for ever, and I'm still adjusting to it.