MAB,
Very good explanation of writing something different; or staying within the proven peramiters that work. I think Ralph Murphy once wrote about writing within the lines because most country songs were written that way. Those songs were hits and had a proven track record of what is accepted and what works.
Like you said and have always said, we are welcome to write what we want; however we want. Why not color within the lines and write what works for the majority of writers and artists. Of course if anyone writes a couple of hits and wants to stray beyond the proven method, they can get away with it, more than an unknown writers like us can.
KevMo, I haven't gone back and read your lyrics; nor heard your song again but I will. The first thing I noticed was the mix. The music was up front a little bit too much for my taste and the vocals were hard to make out (for me). Your lyrics seemed a little bit generic to me. You had one line that said "If you don't come with me, my insides will explode". Really??? You also mentioned a fairy tale landscape; or something. What is that??? Then you mentioned a common expression "this ain't my first rodeo". Come on Brother, you have followed the MAB for 4 years now, you know better than that. Say the same thing, only different. My only complaint with you is that you feel the melody is more important than the lyrics. I do enjoy your melodies and Americana style; but if you'd spend a little more time on your lyrics your songs would improve greatly. Sorry, but there is my 'soft' critique for you.
Now KevMo, I don't mean to sound like a pro writer; nor an expert. I have had many chances to co-write with SongRamp members, even a few that began their journey with The MAB. I can be a bastard to work with and I'm so picky about lyrics; yet I don't have the ability to write anything better than what they came up with. So, don't take my word for anything.
Jarrod, I give you credit for thinking outside the box; but I also praise The MAB for sending you "The Boot". You see, as long as he is sending "The Boot" to you, the Old Dog can breathe easy and relax a little. I have scars from that "Boot" and welcome it being sent in the direction of someone else. I didn't know what you meant by suggesting writing something different; if you meant changing up the structure, the melody; or what. It reminded me of Paul McCartney and how he would change up meolodies and almost write a different song within a song. I'm still not sure what you meant but the VCVCBC is not the only accepted song structure out there; although it is the most common, even if the bridge has no lyrics but is a short instrumental part.
Kid, you are always the Old Dog's favorite target. First of all, allow me to build you up before I tear you apart. We discussed you singing your songs out, a few posts ago, and I think you may have mis-understood me. I do think you have a nice sounding voice and that is something most of us songwriters don't have. However, you still need a little work in making your voice sound the best it can be. That doesn't mean you can't sing; because you should. I was trying to get across to you that you still need some practice to make your voice sound better with pitch and timing; which will only help in making your songs sound the best they can be. I only mentioned a vocal coach to speed up the process.
Another thing. I'm happy you have a job; but I'm not sorry at all you have a job that is forcing you to work hard and get into shape. You had 10 years of sitting behind a desk and chose to get soft and not work out at all, rather than to go to a gym and stay in shape. It's beyond me what a pretty girl, like your wife Katie, saw in your fat a** back in the day. She must have known she would have to work her job to buy groceries and come home to spend every minute in the kitchen trying to cook enough to keep you happy and full.
I don't think she realized when you had kids they would be twins. I don't think either of you realized the expense and that you would have to give up on some Texas beef jerky, and nights out at eating at the Mexican Restaurants. I have never told this story before; but on my last night in Texas when you raided your fridge and ate my left overs from the after church meal your parents bought me. That chicken fried steak your father claimed to be the best in Texas, was really good and I was looking forward to finishing it. I knew we had a problem that night watching TV and your eyes focused on my leftover chichen fried steak as your were searching the fridge for a late night snack. I was hoping then you had a job with the Trombal water department and would get a last minute call to go work some overtime.
I watched as the meal I was saving the next day for lunch, was devoured and my attempt to save some room because your in-laws were buying us dinner that evening was gone because you needed a late night snack. So I'm glad your job caused you to loose a little weight, I feel at least a pound and a half was my chicken fried steak I was saving. Now Kid, know the Old Dog loves to pick on you; but I'm also very proud of you for how far you have come in your songwriting journey. Just know if the Old Dog ever comes back for a vist, damned if I let you eat my leftovers. Ha!!!
By the way Kid, know the Old Dog love you and I love teasing you.
OD