Oh, you have said word for word what about 90% of the people who come here say. I know you have heard it a bunch fo times.
Hey Large Edward and Sir Johnathon the Chaste,
It is a very interesting world. I have never seen anything with more applications for information, yet most people not using it at all as the Internet. You can pretty much google anything, find out how your fravorite song or strar got where they are, find out how the things you HATE got where they are, read biographies, find out information on companies, take lessons for free, EVEN GET A VIDEO OF SOMEONE PLAYING YOUR FAVORITE SONG ON GUITAR AND SHOWING YOU HOW TO DO IT, AND STILL PEOPLE DON'T USE IT.
And just as silly as a question like that is (and yes it seems to be the ERA Songwriter Sarcasm, that seems to accompany the era of FREE MUSIC) that is exactly what a lot of them ask in one way or another. It is usually broken down in smaller segments but that is the gist.
Today will be a 15 year old girl from Toronto and her parents. They were recommended by a guy I have worked with in Toronto, who I believe is the Grandfather, but before I even sit down to breakfast with them, I can pretty much recite the conversation that will happen:
"She is so good, all our friends and family members have been saying "she needs to move to Nashville!"
She does Taylor Swift songs BETTER THAN TAYLOR!
She plays better than anyone in her class, and came in third on the talent show and there were THREE OTHER GIRLS IN THE SHOW...
She already has gotten some emails from companies we don't even know saying that she has talent and needs to record her songs! And they are going to PITCH THEM TO THE LABELS!
We haven't copyritten all of her songs yet. We don't want to play them for anyone until we have the forms back!
We went to an open mic once, but THEY were all terrible and we didn't want to have to wait in line!
If she goes to school down here in Nashville, how long would it be before she gets her record deal?
When do you think we could meet Taylor Miranda and Carrie? They seem so nice and would just LOVE HER!!!
We're very realistic about this and willing to wait up to a YEAR for this to happen. We don't expect it overnight!
Should we move to Nashville with her?
From the time we sign the first record deal, how long is it till we get checks?
When we put her web site on the Internet, how do we seperate the "good fans' from the bad ones?
What are the housing prices in Nashville? We want to be in a 'good neighborhood!"
When are you going to get her to meet Taylor Swift and get her songs out there?"
That song you wrote with her is AMAZING!!! It is a HIT!!!! When can we get that one out there?"
Yeah, it pretty much goes exactly like that. I don't mean to be so cynical, but everyone thinks they are JUST ABOUT TO BE DISCOVERED! Everybody thinks they have something that has never been seen before.
Some are very good. I am fortunate to work with some AMAZINGLY TALENTED, BEAUTIFUL, PEOPLE!
And they are ALL JUST WAITING TIME IN LINE! And guess what, EVERY OTHER HIT AND ESTABLISHED WRITER, RCORD COMPANY INDIVIDUAL (FROM THE LOWEST JANITOR) publisher, song plugger, friend of a friend, hang out buddy, mother father aunt uncle grandparent, wife, husband, significant other, KNOWS ONE TOO!!!
Like I was saying to Peggy, all those other people who enter their songs in contests think THEY DO TOO!
Even if you discovered the MOST amazing writer/artist/player in the world, you STILL would be having to WAIT IN LINE. That is what kills kids, (and adults.) It is not the INDUSTRY. It is the WAITING.
Here is what I would like to say: (and actually have with the really arrogant people)
Hmm. Very cool. Well I think you are on your way, but would you like me to give you a little future lesson? Okay.
For the next 8-12 years you will be putting up videos on YOU TUBE and getting a half dozen hits each time, some telling you that you are great and need to move to Nashville,the rest telling you that you suck and their son/daughter is so much better than you are.
Your music will get HORRIBLE critiques and you will spend a lot of nights staying up crying yourself to sleep. You will go to some karaoke nights and EVERYONE WILL LOVE YOU!!I (because you are 15-16-17 years old and everyone loves cute kids and dogs ), and people will tell you how great you are.
That will be followed immediatly by friends of yours and bullies pushing you around because you "Think you are SO GOOD!"
You will enter ten-fifteen contests and get close but never win anything.
You will go through every kind of physical change from acne to weight gain.
You will have your parents riding you because you have to fit into that cute outfit you all got for the state fair gig you have that actually turns out is a stage next to the swine pavilion that smells so bad you can't even stand it, any more than the eight people your parents got to come out to see you.
You will meet a collection of the sleeziest people you have ever known, who look deep into your eyes and tell you how they worked with Taylor Swift's, cousin's, brother, who knew someone who auditioned for American Idol and ALMOST had them a record deal with "Kiss My Butt' records, who was run by that guy who was an extra on the television show "That's My Mama" in the 70's in three episodes. So they HAVE WORKED WITH THE BEST!
You will drive two days, spend money on gas, food, hotel rooms, wait in line for two days in the pouring rain, with 5000 other people of all ages, many of them the nastiest people you have ever seen that look like the audition to the 'Walking Dead" television show, finally get your chance to see a very low level judge on video, and as you get the first line of your song out of your mouth, will say "THANK YOU! NEXT!!!"
You will lose all semblance of a reasonable family or high school life, spending your time isolated from friends because you have to go take another guitar/piano/dance lesson.
You will be goaded into taking all kinds of music related courses that have nothing to do with anything in life and when you graduate college, will find that "Introduction to Advanced Ancient English Literature" degree does not translate to anything and your parents flushed $50,000 down the toilet.
Those two publishing/record companies that LOVED YOU as their intern (FREE LABOR) that you spent three quarters stuffing envelopes, cleaning toilets, taking out garbage, making sandwiches for their parties, getting beer iced down, and staying after to clean up the studio afterward, DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE AFTER YOU GRADUATE because they have two new interns doing the same thing and there is no job for you!
The five different guys/girls that "produced' those sessions on you, you know, the eight songs you hated that were theirs that they made you cut over your own, because they had written them, and you had to do what they said, and the seven of your own that you recorded and two weeks later HATED because they were not very good to begin with, all lied to you and none of them were interested in doing one thing AFTER you finished the session, spent all that money you could have put on a down payment on a house or paid cash for a new car with. And you still have no material because everyone that hears it turns it off after the first two lines and says "What else you got?"
You will be 23 years old, with a mild alcohol/drug problem, working three part time jobs, tons of failed relationships, and are already being told about the "new kids coming in..."
You will hate all the music out there on the radio and can't understand why anyone won't listen to you.
Will curse every day you got into this.
SOUND LIKE FUN? There is your life.
UNLESS YOU EMPLOY THE MAB!!!! (only partially kidding!)
That is what I would like to say. I guess I just did.
Off to OH CANADA!!!!
MAB