Once the Buzz Kicks In

Something I'm noodling around on.  Music when I can get to it...Comments?

 

Once the Juice Kicks In

© Eddie Minyard

 

My hair and sweat still stink of smoke

From the bridges I have burned

You could plug the Mississippi River

With all the lessons I should have learned

 

I’ve made my share of bad decisions

More than once, I’ve made them twice

Drove 90 miles an hour past the exit sign

For the highway to Paradise

 

But I’ll be ok, I’ll be alright

Once the juice kicks in

I ain’t never needed nothin’ but the fruit of the vine

And a joint or two, now and then

I’m far beyond salvation

At least that’s what the jury said

When they read that verdict in the District Court

Now there’s gonna be two men dead

 

It was a night like any other

On the north end of Frenchmen Street

I had a plan to increase my altitude

With the money from the next fool I’d meet

 

It didn’t take ‘em long to catch me

I guess I stuck that boy a bit too deep

Down in Louisiana they fry a man

For murder in the first degree

 

But I’ll be ok, I’ll be alright

Once the juice kicks in

I’ll never again taste the fruit of the vine

This is the last joint I’ll ever see

I’m far beyond salvation

At least that’s what the jury said

When they pull that switch at midnight

Well, there’s gonna be two men dead

 Once the juice kicks in…

 

Hi Eddie,

What genre do you envisage for this? Like what you started and got going here. Couple of suggs. keep or sweep

 

My hair and sweat still reek of smoke

From those bridges I have burned

Could plug the Mississippi River

Wasted lessons I never learned

 

 I’ve made my share of bad decisions

More than once, I’ve made them twice

Drove 90 miles an hour past the exit sign

To find the sign for Paradise

 

 But I’ll be ok, I’ll be alright

Once the juice kicks in

never needed nothin’ but the fruit of the vine

And a joint or two, now and then

I’m far beyond salvation

At least that’s what the jury said

 

Hey Eddie,

A great story about the dark side of life well done. My two cents worth is this...nothing engraved in stone for sure.

 

My favorite lines, "Gonna be two men dead ~ Once the juice kicks in."   Great finish Eddie!

 

I’ve made my share of bad decisions

 More than once, I’ve made them twice (Great Line)

Driving 90 miles an hour past the exit sign (Driving is a more active mental image than drove.)

 To find the road to Paradise  (Road is more in the vernacular and in character with the image of the man you created.)

 

When they read that verdict  to me  (Just makes the story more personal)

There’s gonna be two men dead  (I would strike the Now, the line is more punchy without it)

 

Gwyneth's "at least that's what the jury said." seems perfect to me. That's it..I like it.  It's kind of  a Folsom Prison Blues realistic.

 

Thanks for posting.

 

Thanks for reading this and for the great suggestions. I'll explain here why I may not use them, though.

First GRB: when our hero(?) was wrecking his life in the fast lane, he drove past the exit for the highway to Paradise. Thus, he couldn't have "found" it.

Gario: I'll play with road vs highway. It's all about the sing, to me. Also, I'll play with verdict line, but don't you think that Dustrict Court gives a visual to the listener?

I envision this as a swampy, driving blues. I'm playing with some E chord variations that feel pretty good, so far.

We are in the midst of a power outage and my generator is acting up, so no studio today - only iPhone !

Thanks for reading this and for the great suggestions. I'll explain here why I may not use them, though.

First GRB: when our hero(?) was wrecking his life in the fast lane, he drove past the exit for the highway to Paradise. Thus, he couldn't have "found" it.

Gario: I'll play with road vs highway. It's all about the sing, to me. Also, I'll play with verdict line, but don't you think that Dustrict Court gives a visual to the listener?

I envision this as a swampy, driving blues. I'm playing with some E chord variations that feel pretty good, so far.

We are in the midst of a power outage and my generator is acting up, so no studio today - only iPhone !

Sure Eddie and thanks for clarifying your intent in the song. I miss read it.  It's a good one,  I'll be anxious to hear it when it's done.

Sometimes I get crazy and cross over because I write short stories and plays and keeping my people in character is very important. (The way they use language being part of their character.) Not as important in songs I guess.

 

Thanks have a great Thanksgiving!

 

Gary O.