Like the fact that you started with the Chorus, Charles. It really helps to make it flow better - I think if you had started with the first verse, you might have "lost" the reader (or the listener). This is a good example of how the song's chorus helps to really support the verse lines. And, I think that Gwyneth gave you some great food for thought as far as strengthening the song even more.
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charles morse and Gwyneth Rose Bradley liked this