Welcome to the forum Jon and Thanks, Let me see if I can help you...
(Verse 1)
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat (I am referencing the very well known childrens poem The Owl and the Pussy Cat by Edward Lear not witnessing anything. It is a departure point for the song, artistic license if you please,) And yes, a bit unusual...
We sailed away on a ship called love
We couldn’t keep afloat (Like them we, my babe and I sailed away on a ship called love. A pleasant metaphor I think, except for the "couldn't keep afloat " part)
Like the Owl I looked up at the stars ( I am not the Owl, but like the Owl I did what he did.
As I played on my guitar
I told you how much I loved you
And how beautiful you are…
One is allowed to stretch the rules of grammar in creative writing. To what degree is the writers choice of course. There are many, many hit songs and many, many well known poets/songwriters,authors that break and have broken the rules of language. Hundreds of them actually.
Jane Austen, William Faulkner, E.E. Cummings, Shakespeare, H.L. Mencken, John Denver, Aerosmith, Bernie Taupin and on and on.
I appreciate your comments though and look forward to seeing some of your work. Pleased to have a new member for sure. I do appreciate your kind compliment at the end. It was a fun write.
Gary O.