Hey Wes -
I like your lyric. I think it flows fine although perhaps just a little wordy. I'm not sure where the song clocks in at but I'd concentrate on the Chorus .. maybe ask yourself do you need the pre-chorus.? As for your melody ... I'm not hearing a real big difference between the verses and the chorus though there is some. It played nicely for me in the key of C at 120 bpm's except when trying to transistion from pre-chorus to chorus. I'm sure if you think you really need the pre-chorus something could be figured out. I think the melody (though sounds a little familiar) could be tweaked. Anyway, I just really wanted to tell you that I think this is a fine effort. Good job!
Kip
I like your lyric. I think it flows fine although perhaps just a little wordy. I'm not sure where the song clocks in at but I'd concentrate on the Chorus .. maybe ask yourself do you need the pre-chorus.? As for your melody ... I'm not hearing a real big difference between the verses and the chorus though there is some. It played nicely for me in the key of C at 120 bpm's except when trying to transistion from pre-chorus to chorus. I'm sure if you think you really need the pre-chorus something could be figured out. I think the melody (though sounds a little familiar) could be tweaked. Anyway, I just really wanted to tell you that I think this is a fine effort. Good job!
Kip
Like