Stalker On My Tail

This is based on a true story (not me, but someone) except for the Hitman part hehehe I embellished that.  Thinking Country with this one. Any sugg of feedback would be much appreciated. Looking for a collaborator if this takes

anyone's fancy 

I’ve tried a million times

But it seems I always fail

I just can’t shake him loose

 Got a Stalker on my tail

Got a stalker……

Got a Stalker……

……On my tail

I met him first on Facebook

He already knew my name

Accepted his friend request

He went by the name of Wayne

At first, he seemed so darn nice

Didn’t know terror was his game

I’ve tried a million times

But it seems I always fail

I just can’t shake him loose

 Got a Stalker on my tail

Got a stalker……

Got a Stalker……

……On my tail

The more I got to know him

I realized he was insane

Sends me countless messages

Says I’m so hot, I’m to Blame

Follows me everywhere I go

Said I’m his, He’s laid his claim

I’ve tried a million times

But it seems I always fail

I just can’t shake him loose

 Got a Stalker on my tail

Got a stalker……

Got a Stalker……

……On my tail

Chased all my boyfriends away

Burnt my cat, set him aflame

Cops can’t help there is no proof

Need hard evidence for blame

Starting to fear for my life

Please do it! That’s why I came

Br

Been hunting high and low for you Mr. X.

Want to take out a contract on a pest

What’s your rate? Heard you the best!

Just do it quick so I can get some rest

Hi Gwyneth!

Something that might enhance the effect of the story is this reveal: how did stalker get the singer's address?

ie transition from 'on-line' to 'a stare across the room at 'Starbucks'...how did he know??...then terror stikes deep!

I didn't know until the end that the singer is having a meet with Mr X, telling him the story and getting the contract....that was a little like falling off a cliff I didn't know was there. I don't know if thats good or bad. Its radical. The stalker has driven the singer to an extreme....the music would turn very stark, monotone, flatline....scary!! Maybe not country genre

Great topic in this lyric.

Bill    

Hi Bill,

LOL - I know The transition is a bit fast or abrupt in direction of the song hehehehe

Thanks for the sugg. The stalker trolled his way around FB and found a pretty girl. It happens all the time these days.

I'm changing a couple of things on the lyric which I think will make it stronger, losing the cat line and then that last radical

line LOL also going to put in another repeat line in the chorus which will make it flow better for music I think.

Thanks so much for you comments and feedback, really appreciate it.

Take care

Gwyneth

Okay so I've made some changes to the lyric, replaced the cat line as well as the last line of the 3rd verse

it was a bit too abrupt in direction of the song. Hopefully this is much stronger now:-

I’ve tried a million times

But it seems I always fail

I just can’t shake him loose

 Got a Stalker on my tail

Got a stalker……

Got a Stalker……

Got a Stalker

……On my tail

I met him first on Facebook

He already knew my name

Accepted his friend request

He went by the name of Wayne

At first, he seemed so darn nice

Didn’t know terror was his game

I’ve tried a million times

But it seems I always fail

I just can’t shake him loose

 Got a Stalker on my tail

Got a stalker……

Got a Stalker……

Got a Stalker

……On my tail

The more I got to know him

I realized he was insane

Sends me countless messages

Says I’m so hot, I’m to Blame

Follows me everywhere I go

Said I’m his, He’s laid his claim

I’ve tried a million times

But it seems I always fail

I just can’t shake him loose

 Got a Stalker on my tail

Got a stalker……

Got a Stalker……

Got a Stalker

……On my tail

Chased all my boyfriends away

Called the Boss to trash my name

Cops can’t help there is no proof

Need hard evidence for blame

Starting to fear for my life

He’s sadistic with his game

Br

What’s your rate of pay?

Can you get it done today?

I’ve been hunting for the best

To free me from this pest

What do you say, Mr. X?
 

I agree with Bill on this not Country marterial.I was thinking more of Rock Genre.Good luck with it. Gwyenth.