Sitting here at the Waffle House
Sipping coffee like I always do
Scanning the room for some company
Seeking a female, maybe it's you
I'm Available
If you're young and beautiful
I'm Available
If you have your own income
I'm Available
If your parents live outta town
I'm Available
If you're the right one
She walked in, took the booth next to me
Ordered a ribeye, tomatoes on the side
She needed steak sauce, so I gave her mine
She gave me a smile as we locked eyes
I'm Available
If you're young and beautiful
I'm Available
If you have your own income
I'm Available
If your parents live outta town
I'm Available
If you're the right one
Honey, you know I'm available
You know I'm accessible
music
We started talking, left together
Got her number here in my cell phone
Got a date coming up this weekend
No more sipping coffee alone
I'm Available
If you're young and beautiful
I'm Available
If you have your own income
I'm Available
If your parents live outta town
I'm Available
If you're the right one
jimcolyer.com
Hi, Jim!
Perhaps coming at 'Available' from a different angle like; Hey girls I'm available in an ad or in a joke would be the only way I think you could pull this one off. I think it might work if done humorously.
Why would it matter if her parents live out of town? The guy has his own place too, right?
If you're interested in suggestions feel free to post in writer's room, lots of community members are available to offer their perspective of your lyric there.
Keep or sweep my thoughts and suggestions as always : )
Carl
Sorry, Jim - gotta be honest here. Regarding the line in the chorus about her having her own income - this would probably turn ANY woman off right off the bat if a man said that to her. That's basically the guy saying "I don't think enough of you to pay your way if we're out someplace." I don't think that there's many women that wouldn't be bothered by that, and it would be a "no go" for them when it comes to a potential relationship .
I think that Carl's offered a good suggestion, as far making this more "humorous" to be able to make it work. Even then, I'd still get rid of that line about her having her own income.
Hi Jim
Like the way this sings, but have to agree with the guys! To me as a female... this is coming accross as a gigalo LOL
Got a couple of suggs to clean it up and make it presentable hehehehe (keep or sweep)
Sitting here at the restuarant
Sipping coffee like I always do
Scanning the room for some company
Looking for the one, maybe it's you
I'm into you
you're just so beautiful
I'm into you
Tired of being alone
I know you're" the one"
I'm into you
Now it's said and done
I'm into you
She walked in, took the booth next to me
Ordered a ribeye, tomatoes on the side
She needed some sauce, so I gave her mine
She gave me a smile as we locked eyes
music
We started talking, left together
Got her number here in my cell phone
Got a date coming up this weekend
No more sipping coffee alone
Hi Jim,
I was cracking-up when I red this. I love it, but I was thinking two things though: The girls ain't gonna like it, and you ain't never gonna get smooched like this! So I had my wife read it. Here's what she said: Way to go Jim. Keeps the "gold-diggers" out of your pocket, and if you do get smooched, it'll probably be the real deal. Good luck buddy. I'll be back later. I'm gonna go see if I can get smooched.
Hi Jim,
I was cracking-up when I red this. I love it, but I was thinking two things though: The girls ain't gonna like it, and you ain't never gonna get smooched like this! So I had my wife read it. Here's what she said: Way to go Jim. Keeps the "gold-diggers" out of your pocket, and if you do get smooched, it'll probably be the real deal. Good luck buddy. I'll be back later. I'm gonna go see if I can get smooched.
Thanks, Jody! Glad you see the humor.