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Thread: The Picture
Les Service
Hi Brad
I like the sentiment behind your lyric, I think the personal ones come through to most everyone as real and believable so they can relate to it on their own personal level which is good.

A couple things stood out to me and the main one being the 2 verses have different ryhme schemes and line lengths, which sort of throws you off a bit melody wise.

V2 I thought something like
A street artist was drawing portraits
He drew them only for tips
from a photo he captured her colours, her beauty, or similar
so life like her ruby red lips/ I kissed her ruby red lips (the last option is because it looked so life like if that makes sense)
Or something along these lines as this is only an example.

Now this may just be me but I wondered about 3rd line v1, every face I see reminds me of you, they could be old, young, man woman! Would your wife or any woman want to be thought of like they are like everyone else to you? I hope you see what I'm trying to get at as I find it hard some times to put in to words what I mean.
I wondered if something like
I looked for you in the crowd, or in a sea of faces, you know what I mean missing her feeling a bit lost without her!

Brad Im no expert but I hope anything I have put here is helpful, and my comments are only trying to highlight stuff that stood out to me and no way meant to be harsh or unfriendly, just trying to help you in any small way I can as others have done for me.

Good luck