This is seriously a good write. Love the message in the song. In terms of flow, I'm not sure if you have a melody in mind or if this song has been recorded. If so, feel free to post so we can hear it. If not, I'd suggest to make sure the syllables count isn't off. It seems like it in some parts and it will be hard to put it to music without sounding "rushed" in some parts.
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Gwyneth Rose Bradley likes this.